A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying a cocktail after work one night, when the bar door opened and the most gorgeous hunk of a man she had ever seen entered. He was tall, muscular, and handsome, with thick dark hair and beautiful, sparkling green eyes, and his every...

IMPORTANT! READ THIS BEFORE USING YOUR NEW DEVICE Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that you undoubtedly will destroy it via some typical bonehead consumer maneuver. Which is why we ask you to: PLEASE READ THIS OWNER’S MANUAL CAREFULLY...

In case you want to visit France in the near future . France, Generally -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- World Cup Guidelines for American Tourists The following advisory for American travelers heading for France was compiled from information provided by the US State Department, the Central Intelligence Agency, the US Chamber of Commerce, the Food and Drug...

How To Win Arguments I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me. You too can...

…and more pearl of wisdom from youngsters: No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats. When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair. If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold...

It’s scary how true they are! “What’s Your Business Sign?” Instead of Astrological Signs, how about these: 1) MARKETING You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with...

Words of Wisdom Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. I am in shape. Round is a shape. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. Even if you are on the right track,...

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE: 1. My darling, my lover,...

A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, Waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. ‘Breast-fed,’ the...

Read the following six statements and the amazing conclusion they lead to: The sport of choice for the urban poor is: BASKETBALL. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: BOWLING. The sport of choice for front-line workers is: FOOTBALL. The sport of choice for supervisors is: BASEBALL. The sport of choice for...