Sensei’s Corner of the Mat

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class,  “Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, “You should  not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!” With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down.

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again,”Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, “Boy,  is she gonna get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued, “As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:

(1) you have a dirty mind,
(2) you didn’t read your homework, and
(3) one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.

When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.

“S’cuse me”, said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, “what was that all about?”

“Nothin’, said the Irishman, “my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!”

Continue reading “a bit of Irish humor”

Why Men Always Have Opinions, Even On Subjects They Know Nothing About.
In the animal kingdom, males exhibit what is known as “display behavior” in order to attract females and to ward off rival males. They thrust out their chests, ruffle their plumage, and generally try to appear more impressive than they really are. On nature shows, this is comic. It appears comic, too, when it shows up among humans: the guy in the Camaro with all the gold chains, say, or Vanilla Ice’s haircut. It has been discovered that display behavior is much more common among humans than had been previously believed.

Continue reading “Male Answer Syndrome”

from: http://markshea.blogspot.com/

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country – if they could find the time – and if they didn’t have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it , thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

12. The Oregonian is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something in which to wrap it.

The Newcomer’s Guide to Martial Arts Talk

When people say …  They really mean … Continue reading “Martial Arts Talk”

Becoming a black belt is primarily about personal growth, and the biggist obstical to personal growth is having a full cup. (If your unsure about the metaphor see this link).

The tree most dangerous words that can block your progress are:

“I know that”

It’s not about what you know, it’s about what you do that matters. Knowledge is irrelevant without ACTION!

Consistent action (progress) comes down to habits.  There are two kinds of habits, things you do, and things you don’t do. Most people often forget the second one, because its so hard to recognize. Don’t be one of the 80% that miss this one!

One of the requirements to becoming a Black Belt is to break a bad habit. There are three ways to do this;

1. the easiest is to replace one habit for another.
2. the hardest is to stop the habit.
3. the indirect method is to grow as a person in such a way that the habit becomes irrelevant. That the need/trigger no longer has any power.

Which ever method you chose remember it takes a minimum of 21 days to establish a new pattern. So start making a list of you good and bad habits (that you do and don’t) be sure to sleep on it to make sure you have a comprehensive list.  Don’t forget to check with friends and family for suggestions. You’d be surprised at their willingness to help out! ;-)

Good Luck!

Not quite that hard......

A secret ingredient in the formula for success is salt water. Blood, Sweat, Tears.

You often hear people describing successful people in terms of their inspiration, creativity, or how motivated they are.

Bullshit! The key to success is always the same. Hard Work.

Not inspired? Suck it up and keep plunging away, inspiration will follow.

Can’t think of a cleaver plan? Research and Brain Storm untill you do.

Can’t find your motivation to keep plugging away? Nothing builds motivation like success. Find little things that you are successful at and keep doing them to help keep your spirts up.

A Black Belt is a kind of person you become not a rank you earn. So you have to be very clear about what kind of BB you wish to be.

For your Dojo BB test, you have to perform every art on every list.

Whatever price you pay for it, is what it will be worth to you. So I strongly suggest that at least once in your life, you train brutally hard for you BB test. If for no other reason than to see what you’re made of.

So if you want to just skate on by, do so. You’re the one who has to wear that belt. Not me.

Bottom line:  Preparation gives you poise.

Hilarious yet instructional!

Important Self-defense Video

Hollywood Squares:

These great questions and answers are from the days when ‘ Hollywood Squares’ game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.. Continue reading “FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER …………..”